It seems like everywhere you turn someone is talking about love…falling in…or out of it. Most of us want to be loved and to have someone to love. After all, it’s a basic human need and if someone tells you differently they are probably not being truthful. The 5 LOVE Languages – The Secret to Love That Lasts by Dr. Gary Chapman answers the question “what if you could say or do something guaranteed to make that special someone feel loved?”
Have you ever asked yourself “What happened to our love after the wedding?” What happens when the one you love starts to shut down emotionally? What do you do when intimate lovers become enemies and the marriage becomes a battlefield? These are some of the questions that you might ask yourself when your marriage/relationship is in trouble. What do you think you would do? You might blame your partner or (heaven forbid) yourself for the breakdown in communication. But what if neither of you were totally at fault, would you be open to exploring a new option? What if this could save your marriage? Your relationship?
Gary Chapman states that the secret to love that lasts is being fluent in the language of love. Did you ever consider yourself to be bilingual? Did you know that the average “in-love” experience only lasts two years? According to Dr. Chapman there are five different love languages and he shares his theory about why people have so many problems communicating with their significant other. His solution is that “people speak different love languages…and each partner must be willing to learn their spouse’s primary love language” in order to have a meaningful relationship.“
The 5 Love Languages is written in a very simple, easy-to-read format. The examples are believable and applicable to numerous scenarios. Each chapter gives you just enough food for thought to start the conversation and concludes with a couple of questions designed to encourage open and honest communication to continue the dialogue. You learn that the answers to all your questions, problems, etc., were right in front of you all along. You just didn’t know where to look.
THOUGHTS for your SOUL:
- Your picture of a perfect mate should give you some idea of your primary love language.
- Love Language # 1 – Words of Affirmation:
- WORDS ARE IMPORTANT! Using words that build up, such as verbal compliments, words of appreciation, encouraging, kind, and humble words that are spoken on a daily basis. How many times do you mess up a new day by bringing up yesterday?
- Love Language #2 – Quality Time:
- GIVING someone your UNDIVIDED ATTENTION (not watching television together). Things such as, focused attention, taking a walk together, quality conversation, maintain eye contact, learning to talk (are you the Dead Sea or the Babbling Brook?), and quality activities that are shared openly and honestly. How many times a day do you just give him/her your time?
- Love Language #3 – Receiving Gifts:
- GIFTS are VISUAL SYMBOLS of love. You must be thinking about someone to give them a gift. It doesn’t matter if it cost money, it’s the thought that counts. You can even give the gift of self. Don’t know where to start? Every time you hear “I really like that,” write it down.
- Love Language #4 – Acts of Service:
- DOING THINGS you know your spouse/partner would like you to do. Things that require thought, planning, time, effort and energy. Things that might not come as naturally to you. Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.
- Love Language #5 – Physical Touch:
- For some THIS CAN MAKE or BREAK a relationship because touching is so important. Things such as, non-sexual touching, holding hands, kissing, embracing, hugging, feeding each other, shoulder massages, back rubs and sexual intercourse. Do you still express PDAs (public displays of affection) in the presence of others? if not, start today.
At the end of the book there are two profiles (one for the husband and one for the wife) that help you identify the distinct language you and your mate use to express love. “Couples who understand each other’s love language know how to effectively communicate and consistently make each other feel truly and deeply loved.”
Let’s BOND over BOOKS rates THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES as MELODICALLY MEANINGFUL (151-300 pages)…just the right mixture of content and pages.
Permission granted by Moody Publishing.